So this infographic came out...
...and since I'm not watching the NBA Finals and am currently stuck at work when I should be playing golf, I'll just make this the last NBA-related thing my brain processes for the 2014-15 season.
Here are my thoughts. Read through them if you're bored.
00 – ROBERT PARISH
All I know is I was very disappointed whenever I pulled a Robert Parish card in a basketball card pack.
0 – RUSSELL WESTBROOK
Should've been Gilbert Arenas. Westbrook had a magical regular season, but he will probably never come close to the number of buzzer-beating game-winners Agent Zero had in his 2006-07 season alone. Also props for the best player-written blog of all time.
1 – OSCAR ROBERTSON
This should have been TMAC. I know it, you know it, even Oscar knows it. Especially since Oscar shows up again on this list at #14. Ugh.
2 – MOSES MALONE
Fo', fo', fo'.
3 – ALLEN IVERSON
No matter what the question was, Allen Iverson was the Answer. I'm not into jerseys anymore, but if I was, I'd be sniping for a 76ers throwback.
4 – DOLPH SCHAYES
This dude was apparently inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1972, but it should have been Charles Barkley on the Rockets, even though I'll never forgive Houston GM Carroll Dawson for trading away Sam Cassell and Robert Horry for the Round Mound of Rebound.
5 – KEVIN GARNETT
Transformed his position. I've had many a sports argument involving the Big Ticket.
6 – BILL RUSSELL
Sorry not sorry, LeBron.
7 – PETE MARAVICH
I think I would have really enjoyed watching Pistol Pete play basketball.
8 – KOBE BRYANT
Fine, but if Latrell Sprewell didn't have so many mouths to feed...
9 – BOB PETTIT
First thought that came to my mind was Bostjan Nachbar.
10 – WALT FRAZIER
I'm less than thrilled that this isn't Sam Cassell's name.
11 – KARL MALONE
So happy that both Yao Ming and Isiah Thomas got overlooked for Laker Karl Malone.
12 – JOHN STOCKTON
NBA all-time assists AND steals leader is no joke.
13 – WILT CHAMBERLAIN
100.
14 – OSCAR ROBERTSON
#1 and #14? So greedy. And so little respect for the greatness that is Tracy McGrady.
15 – HAL GREER
Who?
16 – BOB LANIER
Okay.
17 – JOHN HAVLICEK
Fair enough.
18 – DAVE COWENS
2 Celtics in a row?
19 – WILLIS REED
You can't teach heart.
20 – GARY PAYTON
I loved watching the Glove play defense.
21 – TIM DUNCAN
Greatest power forward of all time.
22 – ELGIN BAYLOR
Sorry, Clyde.
23 – MICHAEL JORDAN
Duh.
24 – RICK BARRY
Happy Kobe is only on here once.
25 – VINCE CARTER
They clearly misspelled ROBERT HORRY. Shot clock running down with the game on the line, do you want Vinsanity or Big Shot Bob? 'Nuff said.
26 – BUDDY JEANNETTE
Buddy?
27 – JACK TWYMAN
Would you know if they made the name up?
28 – SAM CASSELL
MY MAN!
29 – MARCUS CAMBY
So underrated.
30 – BERNARD KING
Respect.
31 – REGGIE MILLER
Every time I hear Reggie commentate a game, I regret ever cheering for him in any capacity.
32 – MAGIC JOHNSON
I wish I got to see Magic in his prime.
33 – KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR
I'm just glad this isn't Scottie Pippen.
34 – HAKEEM OLAJUWON
THE DREAM!
35 – KEVIN DURANT
Hook 'em!
36 – SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
I guaransheed that Rasheed Wallace is pissed that he can't even beat out Celtic Shaq.
37 – METTA WORLD PEACE
Every team needs a little crazy.
38 – KWAME BROWN
lol.
39 – GREG OSTERTAG
lol x2.
40 – SHAWN KEMP
Cocaine is a helluva drug.
41 – DIRK NOWITZKI
I've always admired Dirk ever since he was on Punk'd. Such a nice dude.
42 – NATE THURMOND
Nate the Great.
43 – JACK SIKMA
Shouts out to former Rockets assistant coach.
44 – JERRY WEST
The logo.
45 – MICHAEL JORDAN
I wanted this #45 jersey so bad back in the day.
46 – BO OUTLAW
Bo knows.
47 – JERRY LUCAS
Jerry Lucas, not to be confused with John Lucas.
48 – NAZR MOHAMMED
This guy has played in the NBA for 22 years. Years.
49 – SHANDON ANDERSON
Former Houston Rocket!
50 – DAVID ROBINSON
D-Rob is lucky he's still on this list after what Hakeem did to him.
51 – METTA WORLD PEACE
Obviously, there was a method behind the madness. Second MWP sighting already.
52 – JAMAAL WILKES
Another Laker.
53 – ARTIS GILMORE
Happy Gilmore.
54 – HORACE GRANT
Remember the goggles they had on the Mickey Mouse tower in Orlando?
55 – DIKEMBE MUTOMBO
WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?
56 – FRANCISCO ELSON
Great job picking your number, Francisco.
57 – HILTON ARMSTRONG
Is this guy still in the league?
58 – NO PLAYERS
Quick, someone take this number!
59 – NO PLAYERS
I can understand this. 59 is a pretty crappy number.
60 – WALT KIRK
The only other guy who ever wore #60 only played in 9 NBA games in his career... so...
61 – DAVE PIONTEK
I'm guessing this number was a lot more popular back in the 60's.
62 – SCOT POLLARD
Samurai Scot!
63 – NO PLAYERS
Meh.
64 – NO PLAYERS
This is a decent number.
65 – GEORGE KATKOVICZ
Only guy to ever wear this number. Someone wanna take it from him?
66 – SCOT POLLARD
I love that Pollard is on here twice.
67 – MOE BECKER
Man, these numbers are really up for grabs.
68 – MILT SCHON
Seriously, it wouldn't take much to outduel Milt for this one.
69 – NO PLAYERS
Am I the only one surprised that there has never been a #69 in the NBA?
70 – DENNIS RODMAN
Dallas Worm.
71 – WILLIE NAULLS
This has taken over 10 minutes of my time. I really thought I'd be finished by now.
72 – JASON KAPONO
The definition of a one trick pony.
73 – DENNIS RODMAN
Los Angeles Worm.
74 – NO PLAYERS
I'm getting sleepy.
75 – NO PLAYERS
Only 24 more to go.
76 – SHAWN BRADLEY
Retired by Tracy McGrady.
77 – VLADIMIR RADMANOVIC
Well done, Vlad.
78 – NO PLAYERS
I wish I didn't set a precedent of commenting on every number.
79 – NO PLAYERS
This should be blank.
80 – NO PLAYERS
But I can't just leave one blank.
81 – NO PLAYERS
Therefore I have to write this.
82 – NO PLAYERS
So many diminishing returns right now.
83 – CRAIG SMITH
I didn't know Craig Smith ever played for the Portland Trailblazers. You learn something new every day.
84 – CHRIS WEBBER
Detroit C-Webb. Yikes.
85 – BARON DAVIS
Baron played like he was 85 for the Knicks.
86 – CHRIS JOHNSON
Not the NFL player. I'm assuming.
87 – NO PLAYERS
Some dude born in 1987 should rock this jersey.
88 – ANTOINE WALKER
Shimmy.
89 – CLYDE LOVELLETTE
Not Clyde the Glide.
90 – DREW GOODEN
Ridiculous that he's still in the league.
91 – DENNIS RODMAN
Chicago Worm.
92 – DESHAWN STEVENSON
Remember when this guy posted a picture of his black card online?
93 – METTA WORLD PEACE
I still can't believe the Rockets got Ron Artest for Donte Greene. Thank you, not-so-meaningless NBA summer league.
94 – EVAN FOURNIER
I would totally take this number if I were in the league.
95 – NO PLAYERS
Or this one. Clutch City!
96 – METTA WORLD PEACE
I loved Ron Artest on the Rockets.
97 – NO PLAYERS
Almost done here.
98 – JASON COLLINS
I wasted 20 minutes of a busy work week doing this.
99 – GEORGE MIKAN
The end.
