Three Things I've Learned in my Three Weeks as a Dad

It's been a crazy three weeks in the Mok household.  One night my wife and I were cooking a simple dinner together, and the next we were going to pick up our son Levi from the adoption agency.  This happened two days before our 5-year wedding anniversary, so there have just been a lot of feelings floating around.  In the midst of this wonderfully surreal chaos, between the midnight feedings and the diaper changes, there's been a delicate balance of the incredulity at how life has suddenly changed and the realization that God always knows what He's doing.

I've learned that God's plan is far better than my own.  And in the season of glorious uncertainty known as adoption, this mantra provided us with an indescribable sense of peace.  The process became not a question of "when" we would become parents, but "who" the child was that God already had in mind for us, long before the thought of adoption ever crossed our minds.

I've learned how crucial it is to know my compass.  When you become a parent, you get bombarded with a ton of reminders, tips, strategies, worries, concerns... the list goes on and on.  Though this input from friends and family always comes with good intentions, it's easy to get swept away with a certain idea until you go down an endless Google rabbit hole and you're tallying pros and cons off of random strangers on the internet.  At the end of the day, the inane details don't really matter, and what's left to figure out in raising your child comes down to prayer.  I've prayed a lot.  Constantly, it seems.  It definitely helps knowing that Ophelia and I aren't in this whole parenting thing by ourselves.

I've learned that there is nothing that I wouldn't give for my son, but my son will never be my everything.  One thing I supremely appreciate about my marriage is that we both understand that our identities are not entirely tied up with each other.  So it doesn't matter if it's my wife, my kid, my career, my ministry, my family, my friends, my hobbies -- I have to make a conscious effort to not worship any of these different aspects of my life.

So everything has changed, yet nothing has changed.  Praising God from whom all blessings flow.

The Story of Levi

Normally when the phone rings and I don't recognize the number, I let it go to voicemail.  But it was 9:30 PM, and I was just sitting on my bed, debating between going to the gym or finishing the Astros game, so I went ahead and took the call.

The voice was one I recognized -- Denise, our social worker from AIM Adoptions, who had just been at our house nearly three weeks earlier to complete our home study.  She had declared us "paper pregnant" at that point, and Ophelia and I had celebrated by planning a bunch of weekend trips over the next couple months while we had the chance to visit old friends and new places.

Denise asked if Ophelia was there with me, so I went to go get her.  I didn't want to get my hopes up, but my heart began to race, as I anticipated Denise telling us that she had shown our book to a birthmother, and we had been matched for an October or November birth.  Ophelia joined me in our room, and I put Denise on speakerphone.

"Are you ready to pick up your son?"

We were both speechless.  We looked at each other.  Back at the phone.  At each other.  At the phone.

"Hello...?"

We recovered from our shock long enough to respond and decipher the rest of the conversation.  He was born the day before, and the birthmother had called the agency to place him for adoption that same day.  We were asked to pray about it and let her know our decision that night.

I hung up the phone, still stunned.  But we prayed.  It's a good thing God knows our hearts and our prayers before we even utter a word because I don't know if either of us made much sense.  After saying "amen," we were convinced.  This was it.  He was the one.

First we called our families to relay the good news, and then it was logistics time.  The only baby-related items we had at our house was a crib that we had assembled a week before and the accompanying mattress that was still sitting in its comfy Amazon box.  We spent the night at Walmart, and Ophelia spent the next morning at Target to buy everything we needed.

We kept praying and preparing and working and cleaning until 4:00 PM, when Denise told us that our son was being discharged from the hospital, so we could make our way to the agency.  An hour later, we walked through the AIM door with a full backpack, an empty car seat, and an indescribable sense of joy.

After filling out some paperwork, we went to the next room, ready for the introduction.

Then we heard footsteps around the corner, and Denise came in with a car seat at her side.  And there, wrapped up in a white blanket, was our son.  20 hours after a phone call we'll never forget, our son, Levi Lai-Shun Mok, was in our arms.

It turns out that the profile book telling our story to potential birthmoms hadn't even been printed yet, but the last line of the book reads: We know that God has a child in mind for us, and we wait patiently for His perfect timing.

His timing is indeed perfect.  God is so good.

We have been overwhelmed with both God's love and the love from our families and friends.  Thank you all so much for all the messages, texts, calls, gifts, meals, prayers... the list goes on and on.

Many of you have asked about dropping off food or checking out our registry or donating towards Levi's adoption, and we are so grateful at just the thoughts behind the inquiries.  We have amazing friends who are working on setting up a care calendar and a registry for us, but if you would like to help donate towards Levi's adoption, you can do so here.

Thank you all for the support as we became parents overnight.  Levi is so, so loved.