The Best NBA Players by Number

So this infographic came out...

...and since I'm not watching the NBA Finals and am currently stuck at work when I should be playing golf, I'll just make this the last NBA-related thing my brain processes for the 2014-15 season.

Here are my thoughts.  Read through them if you're bored.

00 – ROBERT PARISH

All I know is I was very disappointed whenever I pulled a Robert Parish card in a basketball card pack.

0 – RUSSELL WESTBROOK

Should've been Gilbert Arenas.  Westbrook had a magical regular season, but he will probably never come close to the number of buzzer-beating game-winners Agent Zero had in his 2006-07 season alone.  Also props for the best player-written blog of all time.

1 – OSCAR ROBERTSON

This should have been TMAC.  I know it, you know it, even Oscar knows it.  Especially since Oscar shows up again on this list at #14.  Ugh.

2 – MOSES MALONE

Fo', fo', fo'.

3 – ALLEN IVERSON

No matter what the question was, Allen Iverson was the Answer.  I'm not into jerseys anymore, but if I was, I'd be sniping for a 76ers throwback.

4 – DOLPH SCHAYES

This dude was apparently inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1972, but it should have been Charles Barkley on the Rockets, even though I'll never forgive Houston GM Carroll Dawson for trading away Sam Cassell and Robert Horry for the Round Mound of Rebound.

5 – KEVIN GARNETT

Transformed his position.  I've had many a sports argument involving the Big Ticket.

6 – BILL RUSSELL

Sorry not sorry, LeBron.

7 – PETE MARAVICH

I think I would have really enjoyed watching Pistol Pete play basketball.

8 – KOBE BRYANT

Fine, but if Latrell Sprewell didn't have so many mouths to feed...

9 – BOB PETTIT

First thought that came to my mind was Bostjan Nachbar.

10 – WALT FRAZIER

I'm less than thrilled that this isn't Sam Cassell's name.

11 – KARL MALONE

So happy that both Yao Ming and Isiah Thomas got overlooked for Laker Karl Malone.

12 – JOHN STOCKTON

NBA all-time assists AND steals leader is no joke.

13 – WILT CHAMBERLAIN

100.

14 – OSCAR ROBERTSON

#1 and #14?  So greedy.  And so little respect for the greatness that is Tracy McGrady.

15 – HAL GREER

Who?

16 – BOB LANIER

Okay.

17 – JOHN HAVLICEK

Fair enough.

18 – DAVE COWENS

2 Celtics in a row?

19 – WILLIS REED

You can't teach heart.

20 – GARY PAYTON

I loved watching the Glove play defense.

21 – TIM DUNCAN

Greatest power forward of all time.

22 – ELGIN BAYLOR

Sorry, Clyde.

23 – MICHAEL JORDAN

Duh.

24 – RICK BARRY

Happy Kobe is only on here once.

25 – VINCE CARTER

They clearly misspelled ROBERT HORRY.  Shot clock running down with the game on the line, do you want Vinsanity or Big Shot Bob?  'Nuff said.

26 – BUDDY JEANNETTE

Buddy?

27 – JACK TWYMAN

Would you know if they made the name up?

28 – SAM CASSELL

MY MAN!

29 – MARCUS CAMBY

So underrated.

30 – BERNARD KING

Respect.

31 – REGGIE MILLER

Every time I hear Reggie commentate a game, I regret ever cheering for him in any capacity.

32 – MAGIC JOHNSON

I wish I got to see Magic in his prime.

33 – KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR

I'm just glad this isn't Scottie Pippen.

34 – HAKEEM OLAJUWON

THE DREAM!

35 – KEVIN DURANT

Hook 'em!

36 – SHAQUILLE O'NEAL

I guaransheed that Rasheed Wallace is pissed that he can't even beat out Celtic Shaq.

37 – METTA WORLD PEACE

Every team needs a little crazy.

38 – KWAME BROWN

lol.

39 – GREG OSTERTAG

lol x2.

40 – SHAWN KEMP

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

41 – DIRK NOWITZKI

I've always admired Dirk ever since he was on Punk'd.  Such a nice dude.

42 – NATE THURMOND

Nate the Great.

43 – JACK SIKMA

Shouts out to former Rockets assistant coach.

44 – JERRY WEST

The logo.

45 – MICHAEL JORDAN

I wanted this #45 jersey so bad back in the day.

46 – BO OUTLAW

Bo knows.

47 – JERRY LUCAS

Jerry Lucas, not to be confused with John Lucas.

48 – NAZR MOHAMMED

This guy has played in the NBA for 22 years.  Years.

49 – SHANDON ANDERSON

Former Houston Rocket!

50 – DAVID ROBINSON

D-Rob is lucky he's still on this list after what Hakeem did to him.

51 – METTA WORLD PEACE

Obviously, there was a method behind the madness.  Second MWP sighting already.

52 – JAMAAL WILKES

Another Laker.

53 – ARTIS GILMORE

Happy Gilmore.

54 – HORACE GRANT

Remember the goggles they had on the Mickey Mouse tower in Orlando?

55 – DIKEMBE MUTOMBO

WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?

56 – FRANCISCO ELSON

Great job picking your number, Francisco.

57 – HILTON ARMSTRONG

Is this guy still in the league?

58 – NO PLAYERS

Quick, someone take this number!

59 – NO PLAYERS

I can understand this.  59 is a pretty crappy number.

60 – WALT KIRK

The only other guy who ever wore #60 only played in 9 NBA games in his career... so...

61 – DAVE PIONTEK

I'm guessing this number was a lot more popular back in the 60's.

62 – SCOT POLLARD

Samurai Scot!

63 – NO PLAYERS

Meh.

64 – NO PLAYERS

This is a decent number.

65 – GEORGE KATKOVICZ

Only guy to ever wear this number.  Someone wanna take it from him?

66 – SCOT POLLARD

I love that Pollard is on here twice.

67 – MOE BECKER

Man, these numbers are really up for grabs.

68 – MILT SCHON

Seriously, it wouldn't take much to outduel Milt for this one.

69 – NO PLAYERS

Am I the only one surprised that there has never been a #69 in the NBA?

70 – DENNIS RODMAN

Dallas Worm.

71 – WILLIE NAULLS

This has taken over 10 minutes of my time.  I really thought I'd be finished by now.

72 – JASON KAPONO

The definition of a one trick pony.

73 – DENNIS RODMAN

Los Angeles Worm.

74 – NO PLAYERS

I'm getting sleepy.

75 – NO PLAYERS

Only 24 more to go.

76 – SHAWN BRADLEY

Retired by Tracy McGrady.

77 – VLADIMIR RADMANOVIC

Well done, Vlad.

78 – NO PLAYERS

I wish I didn't set a precedent of commenting on every number.

79 – NO PLAYERS

This should be blank.

80 – NO PLAYERS

But I can't just leave one blank.

81 – NO PLAYERS

Therefore I have to write this.

82 – NO PLAYERS

So many diminishing returns right now.

83 – CRAIG SMITH

I didn't know Craig Smith ever played for the Portland Trailblazers.  You learn something new every day.

84 – CHRIS WEBBER

Detroit C-Webb.  Yikes.

85 – BARON DAVIS

Baron played like he was 85 for the Knicks.

86 – CHRIS JOHNSON

Not the NFL player.  I'm assuming.

87 – NO PLAYERS

Some dude born in 1987 should rock this jersey.

88 – ANTOINE WALKER

Shimmy.

89 – CLYDE LOVELLETTE

Not Clyde the Glide.

90 – DREW GOODEN

Ridiculous that he's still in the league.

91 – DENNIS RODMAN

Chicago Worm.

92 – DESHAWN STEVENSON

Remember when this guy posted a picture of his black card online?

93 – METTA WORLD PEACE

I still can't believe the Rockets got Ron Artest for Donte Greene.  Thank you, not-so-meaningless NBA summer league.

94 – EVAN FOURNIER

I would totally take this number if I were in the league.

95 – NO PLAYERS

Or this one.  Clutch City!

96 – METTA WORLD PEACE

I loved Ron Artest on the Rockets.

97 – NO PLAYERS

Almost done here.

98 – JASON COLLINS

I wasted 20 minutes of a busy work week doing this.

99 – GEORGE MIKAN

The end.

A Racist Moment

I live in Chicago at the moment and I just experienced the most racist moment of my life. I grew up in the Houston area, which is a pretty diverse and integrated city. Chicago, although diverse, isn't as integrated. Maybe this fact contributed to this anecdote, or maybe I just happened to choose the wrong bus to hop on to today.

I'm writing this not to incite anything, or to have a debate about the current state of racism in our country, etc. -- I just want to share it because it was pretty appalling to witness: I get onto Bus 36 heading North. It's Memorial Day, so there's more people on the bus than usual at 3 p.m. on a Monday. The bus is about 80% full and 2 seats open up to my right just as I board. A middle-aged couple is sitting in front of me. One of the woman's leg is propped up onto the chair seat in front of her. The man has his arm around her. They're dressed like tourists, but they seem like they're from the area. I don't smell booze on either of them, but I really hope alcohol is involved.

"I really don't like the warmth," the man says. "I like feeling frostbite on my toes. My fingers. I don't mind the winter at all. I have had frostbite on my toes. My fingers. I'm okay without the warmth. Did you know? Frostbite on my toes and fingers." This statement isn't too random for a Chicago bus ride. I don't make much of it. Maybe he's a bit crazy? He's directing all these comments at his wife.

She begins murmuring something, and then I hear it -- "...THESE NIGGERS." Some curse words follow. The man tries to hush her. He tries talking about something else. Ah, now I know why he was talking about frostbite. He glances back at me just enough to gauge whether I'm black or not. I look around and most everyone is looking down at their phones or out the window. I realize that this woman has been causing a scene even before I got on the bus. The woman sounds drunk. She sits up a bit in her chair and tries to look behind her towards the back of the bus. She's searching for someone it seems. The man turns her back around and hugs her to contain her.

"Those fuckers. Shit. NIGGERS." An elderly woman next to me says in response, just loud enough, "There are children on this bus." The woman in front of me turns around to glare at the comment. The bus comes to stop and the doors open. A woman outside the bus pleads with the driver, "Sir -- I just need a ride. I've been trying to get change but I can't get any." The driver responds, "No sorry I can't do that." The woman in front of me exclaims "SHE'S A WHITE WOMAN. JUST LET HER ON. SHE'S WHITE." Everyone is shaking their heads now. Two stops later a black man gets onto the bus. Uh-oh. The man immediately holds his wife tight and begins to kiss her on the cheek to divert her attention. It doesn't work. "Where do they all come from? They're everywhere. They belong in South Chicago with the scum." The black man just walks past her.

The husband then says, "I live on the streets. I don't mind it. I live in the alleyways. Like a superhero. I'm like a superhero." Maybe this is his attempt to appease the situation. I don't think anyone knows what his comments mean. An elderly man with a cane gets onto the bus and sits in front of the couple. "Let me shake your hand grandpa" the woman says. The husband and his wife both reach out to shake his hand. They both fumble around like they're drunk. "You shake hands like this --" the husband says as he grabs the old man's wrist instead of his palm. This is all really weird. He then says, "You shake hands like a Jewish man. You know? Like a Jewish man." The old man just nods and minds his own business.

Then the woman in front raises her hands. She's flicking off people in the back of the bus. I don't turn around to see who's sitting back there. The man pushes her hand down. She raises her middle finger again and again. There's some cursing coming from her. We come to a stop and a black woman and her 3 kids walk to the front of the bus, ready to get off. So that's who all this hatred has been geared towards. "THERE'S RETRIBUTION FOR EVERYONE WHO ELECTED BARACK OBAMA" she yells at the family. The husband tags on, "All I know is that none of them are mine. That's all I can say. They're not mine." He means the kids. One of the daughters turns around slightly to take a look at the couple. She seems a bit confused. I think she knows the comments are directed at her family. The mom looks straight ahead, waiting for the bus doors to open.

Why don't people like baseball?

The Houston Astros have had a rough few years, to say the least. Aside from losing 100+ games per season and missing out on signing draft picks, there has still been glimmers of hope with the young studs growing up in the farm system. Even at my most optimistic, I was thinking 2017 would be when this team could finally have a chance at winning the division, but here we are, 21 games into the 2015 season, and H-Town is sitting at the top of the AL West with a 14-7 record.

The only problem? Nobody seems to care.

You know how you have certain friends you can text about certain topics? You know, like if something crazy happens with the Houston Texans, you can pretty much text anybody in the city. If something crazy happens with the Houston Rockets, you have a plethora of fans in your mind who you'd want to discuss it with. If something crazy happens with the Houston Astros? I can't even think of 10 people who would know the name of our starting third baseman.

My wife will sit through just about any other athletic event with me other than baseball. She, along with thousands of other people, simply finds the game boring. I thought it was primarily an Asian mindset until I saw this:


I love baseball. I can sit at home on my couch and watch every pitch. I remember the first time someone walked in on me watching baseball in college, they were bewildered. They couldn't believe I enjoyed watching baseball on TV, much less every single play. A lot of it probably has to do with nostalgia. I grew up back when the Astros were owning the NL Central, and going to the 18-inning series clincher against the Atlanta Braves is a sports moment I will never forget.

But my man Chris Rock is right. The sport IS too old-fashioned. There shouldn't be an unspoken code of conduct or "right" way to play the game. If anything, the league needs more showboats and outspoken players to garner some attention from the younger generation. 

I blame Bud Selig. Times have changed, but that Bud stayed the same. It wasn't until last year that the MLB finally allowed some of their plays to be shown on YouTube. Up til that point, the only major league baseball coverage you could find online was some grainy cell phone coverage taken from the upper deck or at a sports bar.

Long story short, I need more baseball people in my life. If you are an avid fan, please inquire within.

How Much Should You Love Your Job?

Whenever people ask me about my job, I tell them the truth.  I don't love the job itself, but I love everything the job brings with it.  The work/life balance.  The 9/80 schedule.  The benefits.  The monies.

I see all these people striving for a career that they absolutely love, and I get it.  You spend 8+ hours a day working, so you should be working for a place or a cause that you can fully stand behind.  But I don't know, that's just not me.

I guess the primary question is this: how much should you love your job?  Is it "wrong" to just view it as a means to an end?

Just some food for thought.

A Penny for my thoughts on Fresh Off The Boat

I was called a chink a single time in my life. It caught me off guard and I froze, not knowing how I was supposed to react, and the moment passed. It was at a random middle school where I was somehow coerced into attending a summer reading class. We had some sort of break, and a couple of black kids who were there for mandatory summer school came across me, a Chinese kid proudly wearing his favorite Anfernee Hardaway jersey over a white tee in a school hallway in the dead of summer (relatively) voluntarily.

They were making fun of me, a skinny, short yellow kid wearing the jersey of a skinny, tall black kid. (The irony being that my game was closer to Penny’s than theirs could ever dream of being.  While we're briefly on the topic, I've always hated being called Jeremy Lin or worse, Yao Ming, on the court just because of my race, but the worst name I've ever been called was JJ Barea.  I was furious.  But I digress.)

Fast forward a couple decades to today, and we now have a sitcom on ABC that shows another young kid getting called a chink. He handled it much differently than I did, but he was also under much different circumstances.

He grew up as the token Asian kid in Orlando (after watching The Book of Mormon, I chuckle everytime I hear the word "Orlando"), Florida, and I grew up as one of many Asian kids in Sugar Land, Texas. We both grew up loving Penny Hardaway (who wouldn’t?), but my schools’ student body was almost 1/3 Asian, and I never really felt any sort of racial tension, definitely not to the degree Eddie Huang did.

What it all boils down to is ignorance. Where there’s no diversity, people don’t understand what they don’t understand. Does that even make sense?

I get what Eddie Huang is trying to do, and I understand his frustration with how watered-down the sitcom is compared to his book. Trust me, I’m reading it. There’s a lot of hilarious anecdotes in the book, but there’s also a lot of animosity, hatred, and pain. Nobody wants to watch a sitcom that is a visual depiction of an Angry Asian Man rant, not to mention how exhausting it is to be angry all the time. So it’s tough to expect an ABC sitcom to go as hard in the paint as Eddie’s memoirs did over his own “growing up in America” experience.

That’s what we all need to remember when watching Fresh Off The Boat. It’s a sitcom. There’s no need to break down every little detail of the show or its jokes or its ratings and make it a racial thing. Look, I’m not putting down the show by any means or trying to downplay the significance of having an Asian family front and center on network TV – I enjoy the show (especially Constance Wu) and realize the show is unprecedented – but at the same time, I will watch it the same way I watch every other sitcom, for entertainment value. Let’s not expect every episode to be a groundbreaking, bold statement for Asians in America – the sitcom has enough pressure of its own, you know, just being a sitcom.

The "Thank You" Wave

Driving is insane in Jamaica, but they have a code.  Two short honks equates to a display of gratitude, and a single extended honk signals fury.  The longer the honk, the longer the obscenity.

I'm starting to support this horn system here in America because so few people do the "thank you" wave anymore anyway.  But maybe that's for the best.

Yesterday morning, I was nearing the finish line of a 5-mile drive from my house to the Park and Ride.  I was in the middle lane and had to take a right turn soon, so I signaled and changed lanes seamlessly before shortly glancing back in my rearview mirror as I did my patented thumb-1-2-finger "thank you" wave.

All I saw next were the heavy brake lights of the two cars in front of me, and while I slammed the brakes, the short distance and the wet pavement proved an unfortunate combination.  It turned out to be a three-car accident, with me being on the tail end.

The driver of the first car got out, looked at her car, saw little to no damage, and assured the driver of the second car that all was well and fine, and drove off.

The drive of the second car got out, looked at his car, saw little to no damage, and assured the driver of the third car (me) that all was well and fine, and drove off.

The driver of the third car got out, looked at his car, and was deeply saddened by the damage.

Thank God that nobody got hurt and I'll only have to pay my car insurance deductible to fix up my own car, but I still can't bear the sight of my beat-up car in the garage.  But I guess as I always tell people at the craps table: "It's just money!"

Trusting In God's Plan

Few things make me cringe more than a bad Christian cliche.

I've been going to church since birth, so trust me when I say that I've heard nearly all of them.  "Wait on God's timing!" "He won't give you more than you can handle!" "Ask and you shall receive!"  The list goes on.

While I hardly ever question the intent behind the hackneyed message, I'm usually just not sure what purpose it really serves.  More than anything, I worry that it's just filler material to fill an otherwise potentially awkward silence.  But most of the time, I think what a person really yearns for is compassion.

Of course, I'm as guilty of this as anyone.  As a guy, when I'm presented with a problem, I assume people are asking me for help to find the solution.  But sometimes, we're left helpless, with seemingly nothing we can physically do to alleviate the situation.

That's when we Christians like to throw out encouraging Bible verses rapid fire, thinking that if just one dart hits the target, we've done our job.

Jeremiah 29:11 comes to mind.  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Ah, yes.  The almighty Plan.  For many of us, this verse is easy to recite.  We come from healthy homes with smiling parents, and we've jumped from one stepping stone to another in our walk of life.

Trusting in God's plan is ridiculously easy... until it no longer matches with our own plan.

I've always been a big proponent of wrestling with your faith.  You aren't going to grow spiritually until you first break down what you actually believe in.  So it's okay to ask questions.  It's okay to wonder why things happen the way they do.  It's okay to not have anything helpful to say because no matter how much we want to believe otherwise, we don't have all the answers.